SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize