I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
