I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
