I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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