so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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