just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
