She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
