I think i sorta joined a cult last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
