we're blogging at a bar
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i've created a new STD.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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