I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
