we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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