You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
