I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
