The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
