do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
