let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
as a side note pls kill me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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