Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
