i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
