Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
