you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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