Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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