i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
