on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
