i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
