scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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