I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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