I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
