is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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