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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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• (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.

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• (562): View more from California

  He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?

  (940): View more from Texas

  Is this a story I am going to hate you for?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?

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• (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Only thing exciting about him was his dick.

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