having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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