You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
