I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
