): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
