is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
