I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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