I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
