She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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