Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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