Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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