I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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