The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
