I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
