Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My balls are so social today.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
