He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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