Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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