Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
