I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
