Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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