i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
