Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
